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"'Try to avoid time travel', he says."
Captain Janeway rolled her eyes as she found herself back on the Voyager of her own time frame, noticing that they'd been placed in the ready room. And do I really sound like that? she thought, remembering listening to herself give orders while on the way to apprehend Braxton. Or to the bridge, whichever self one might be referring to. She turned to Seven, who had obviously already been 're-integrated', as the ensign's uniform had disappeared, replaced with the jumpsuit. Janeway felt a momentary annoyance at that. She happened to be of the belief that Seven looked much better in a uniform- at least that way male crewmembers might have a chance of remaining undistracted.
Her headache was pounding, and she reasoned that the temporal jumps probably didn't help it much, especially when there really was nothing that could give her a headache faster than anything to do with temporal mechanics. Seven had just nodded and made some comment about not needing to write up a report for this away mission, then left without being dismissed. And who says Borg don't have a sense of humour?
The Captain moved to the replicator, badly craving a fresh coffee. She just hoped it actually tasted fresh this time. "The Janeway Factor?" she said aloud to herself. "Sounds formidable. I must have been a real pain in the arse for Braxton to go through all that." Sitting on her couch, satisfied with the coffee, she remembered the strong tug of fear she had felt last time she had been in here. Chakotay had phased in out of the timeframe, and for seconds she had been sure she was about to lose him. "I couldn't bear that."
"Janeway, when did you start talking to yourself?"
The Captain jumped at the unexpected voice, and felt instant dismay when she found herself staring at… well, herself. Just much older. "You've got to be kidding," she moaned.
"'fraid not," the older woman- Admiral, Janeway thought, noticing the bar on the breast of the unfamiliar 'fleet uniform- said, taking her counterpart's coffee and draining half the cup. The Admiral grimaced at the taste. "I'd forgotten how bad replicated coffee is when compared to the real stuff." She handed the cup back. "I've been drinking quality blends for a while."
Captain Janeway had had enough. "Ok, out with it. What have we done this time?" Oh, bad pun. This was getting ridiculous.
"Remember how many incursions you've made? Crank that up a bit." The older woman sat. "I'm here to make a very small, but very significant change. I thought that doing it at this point in the timeline might be beneficial. Get all the Temporal Prime Directive crap out of the way while you're still getting over that last lot."
"Alright." At this point, the Captain was willing to take a few things on faith. "When are you from? And what's the change?"
The Admiral smiled. "Glad you agree, Kathryn. I'm 73, so that gives you an idea, and the change is to do with that frightening knot in your stomach you had a few hours ago."
Kathryn frowned. "Chakotay?"
"Precisely." She stood. "It's time to stop sacrificing the present for a future that might not, and in my case, did not happen."
"I don't under-"
"Oh don't be daft, Kathryn! You know exactly what I'm talking about, and whether you want to right now or not, I'm making sure you and he are happy."
"But there are reasons…"
"Forget them. Forget all that nonsense about the command structure- you're both more professional than that, and I can promise you that not a single member of this crew isn't wishing you all you can get."
"But-"
"Stop." She held up a hand, in the classic Janeway gesture for silence. "Forget it. Forget protocol."
"I suppose I'd be a fool to ask how you knew what I was going to a argue."
"I have done this before."
"It didn't work?"
"Oh, it would have, if I hadn't been pulled back into my timeframe before I could finish. And don't worry about your memories- after reviewing the data, I decided that it's better you remember me being here. I don't want you screwing up all my hard work."
"You talk like this is just some experiment to you."
The Admiral's face suddenly looked tired, losing the adrenaline induced glow she'd had in the moments after transport. "Believe me Kathryn, this is more than science, more than life or death." She stared hard into her past self's eyes. "This is about love."
The Captain wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore. "It just can't work."
"Kathryn! Why do you think I'm here? Of course it can work. I wouldn't be here if I didn't know it will work."
"You'll need to give me more than that."
The Admiral sighed. "Fine." She retrieved two more cups, deciding for the moment to endure bad coffee. One had to have priorities. "In two years time, you're going to lose him." She took a deep breath, fortifying herself with another sip. Even after all this time, it was still painful to discuss. "To Seven of Nine."
The Captain's widened, and she felt as though someone had kicked her full in the stomach. "No…"
"Unless, of course, you do something about it now. He loves you, and he'll keep loving you, even while he's with Seven. She'll die in his arms three years into the marriage, and neither of you will ever be the same again. The friendship will be strained, until…" She had to pause, her eyes closing and knuckles white around her mug. "Until the day he dies."
Kathryn's eyes watered, and pain ripped through her. She hadn't experienced what this woman had. She hadn't come close, but just hearing about it and seeing the Admiral's obvious distress was effect enough. She was convinced, in a moment of complete clarity, that she would not let this happen to her.
"He told me everything. All the love in his heart, all the pain, the longing. And I knew then that everything he had felt had been mirrored in me."
Kathryn still had doubts, despite her determination, and there was more she needed to know. "Why now? Why not in two years time?"
"Why not now? Think, Kathryn: two years. A lot can happen in two years." She grinned. "There's no time like the present. Or the past, for that matter."
"Is that all? There's nothing more urgent to the timing than that?"
The Admiral rolled her eyes. "Oh hell, I don't know. God, don't make me think about it. I don't bother with that anymore. I just do. I just act now, Kathryn. No consequences bother me anymore. Don't you see?" She stood suddenly, beginning to pace. "I have nothing to live for anymore, save this! I, we, have a chance here! Where's that Janeway impulsiveness? Grab the chance, carpe diem, Kathryn!"
The younger woman was finding hearing her own name like this rather disconcerting. She shook her head. "The Janeway Factor."
"Hmm. I s'pose I have been a bit of a menace. I almost feel sorry for Braxton. Almost." She shrugged. "Well? Are you going to do something about Chakotay?"
Janeway sat for a moment; just looking out the viewport, wondering whether this was a risk she was willing to take. There were so many factors to consider, so many reasons for her to not even consider telling her first officer how she really felt.
"You love him, Kathryn. Nothing else matters. Your life is going to be empty and destitute without him."
Janeway nodded, and the Admiral smiled as she stood. "All right then. Right now. Go on. Call him."
"What about you?"
"I'll be outside. As soon as you tell him, I'll cease to exist. And so will my timeline. I'm not temporally shielded, so I'll just disappear." She smiled. "And that's the way it should be. There's no need for me to be around anymore, as long as you and he are happy." The older Janeway placed her mug in the replicator, recycling it, then moved to the door leading out to the corridor. She turned as the door opened. "Don't make me come back here, Kathryn."
This is just too surreal. Captain Janeway stood and paced for a minute, debating silently with herself. After a few moments that felt like hours, she hit her badge and called the First Officer. He only took a moment to chime, but to Janeway, it could have been years, and she bagan to wonder if her sense of time was permanently damaged.
"Chakotay…"
He only needed one look at her face to know something was troubling her. "Kathryn?" and then he was only inches away. "What's wrong?"
She smiled that tiny crooked smile he loved so much. "Nothing's wrong, exactly. But I do need to fix something." She looked down at her hands, which in her apprehension had twisted together. He followed her eyes, and took her hands in his.
"Kathryn?"
She looked up, meeting his eyes again. "I was wrong." There were tears in her eyes, and his widened, afraid to let himself believe what he wanted her to have meant. "I've been such a fool, Chakotay, and I think my… conscience, has finally rebelled."
He needed to be sure. "What are you saying?"
She took a deep breath, expecting the final admission to be hard. She was wrong. "I want to be with you."
His eyes closed as the air was sucked out him.
"I can't live without you, Chakotay. I want to be with you. What more can I say?"
He opened his eyes, and stared hard into hers. "Say it," he whispered.
She smiled, the tears finally falling. "I love you."
He crushed her close, burying his face in her hair, and breathed into her neck, "Oh Kathryn." She felt the words against her skin and suppressed a shiver. "Will you finally let me say it?"
"Oh god," she whispered. "I never wanted to stop you."
He pulled back, just enough to see her. A hand rested on her collar, his fingertips caressing the soft skin on her neck, feeling her pulse. "I love you Kathryn. And now I'm never letting you go."
"I don't want you to. Ever." She wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her lips to his. A large tanned hand rested at the small of her back, moulding her to him as the kiss went on and on. Eventually, they need air. "Come on," she murmured against his mouth. "Let's take this elsewhere."
=/\=
"And then I heard myself. I found it rather shocking. Do I really sound like that?"
"You have heard yourself before you know."
"Yes I know. But I never really thought about it before. I don't think I like my own voice. It's so… distinctive."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Perhaps."
"Well I happen to think you have the sexiest voice in any time, place or dimension."
Janeway laughed. "But you're biased."
"True, but anyone who thinks you haven't the sexiest voice ever is an idiot."
"Are you calling me an idiot, Commander?"
Fini
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The Janeway Factor
